Attack Of The Bandit Cats Read online

  she asked. “The magnetic needle points to

  the north. But if you put a magnet near the

  compass, you can shift the needle.”

  I looked around. Nothing. “I’m afraid

  finding a

  magnet

  on this ship will be

  like searching for a whisker in a haystack!”

  I groaned.

  The luCky CharM

  Just then, Benjamin began squeaking. “I

  have a magnet, Uncle Geronimo!” he cried.

  He proudly held up his lucky charm. It

  was a refrigerator magnet shaped like a

  small piece of cheese. I’m not sure why

  Benjamin thought the magnet was lucky,

  but he carried it with him everywhere. He

  brought it with him to Squeaking School, to

  the dentist, and even when he got his fur cut

  at Sniprat the Barber.

  Thea stuck the

  lucky charm to the

  compass. Then she

  checked the needle.

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  m

  a

  g

  n

  e

  t

  BOUNCING

  “There!” she said, satisfied.

  “From now on, the compass will

  point toward Ho-hum

  Island!”

  We decided to hide in

  a huge silver trunk

  filled with maps.

  Seconds later, I

  heard a noise. I lifted the

  trunk’s lid just enough

  to spot Tomcat Jack.

  He took one look at

  the compass and began

  around like a

  basketball with whiskers.

  “We are off course! Hurry, everybody to

  their posts!” he screeched.

  73

  all CaTs aT

  The ready!

  Tomcat Jack quickly grabbed a silver

  megaphone and began

  shouting out orders.

  “All cats at

  the ready!

  Hoist the

  jenny! Lower the flying

  jib! Tighten up that

  boom lift! Keep an eye

  on the topsail!”

  Talon, the ship’s

  officer, rushed over.

  “What’s going on,

  Jack?” he cried. “Have you been eating

  catnip again? Why are we changing course?”

  Tomcat Jack wiped the sweat from his

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  whiskers. He looked dazed and confused.

  “I can’t understand it,” he muttered.

  “One minute we were sailing along just fine.

  The next minute we were headed in the

  wrong direction! But it’s OK now. We’re

  back on course.”

  I grinned and lowered

  the lid. Yes, we were

  back on course, all

  right. We were

  headed straight

  for Ho-hum

  Island!

  By eleven the

  next morning, we were

  ready. We were also a little

  squashed from spending

  the night in the trunk.

  Trap was so excited he

  could hardly keep still.

  “Can’t wait to cook those

  cats!” he squeaked. “This

  is better than the time I

  cornered those ratburglars

  with my electronic weed

  whacker!”

  CounTdown:

  Three, Two,

  one . . .

  F

  i

  r

  e

  !

  F

  i

  r

  e

  !

  Fir

  e!

  Fi

  r

  e

  !

  Fi

  r

  e

  !

  F

  ir

  e!

  F

  i

  r

  e

  !

  F

  i

  r

  e

  !

  F

  i

  r

  e

  !

  We waited until we spotted Ho-hum Island.

  Then we quickly scampered into the powder

  room. No, this powder room wasn’t for

  curling whiskers or fluffing up fur. It was

  filled with barrels of gunpowder!

  Each one of us took a

  barrel of gunpowder and ran

  to our posts. Our plan was

  to confuse the pirates and

  make them believe that the

  whole ship was on fire. We

  would start twelve

  fires in twelve separate spots on the

  ship.

  “Three, two, one . . . fire!”

  With a crackling noise, flames licked the

  walls. Black smoke filled the air.

  We heard the cats shouting:

  The flames were spreading fast.

  What happened?

  I want my mommy!

  Did the kitchen blow up?

  The flames were spreading fast, fanned

  by the wind off the ocean. We wrapped

  our paws with wet towels to keep from

  burning. The ship was getting hotter than

  the Cheeses of the World float at the

  Mousey’s Day Parade! Meanwhile, the

  pirate cats were racing around in a panic.

  We could hear them meowing.

  Have we been attacked?

  ?

  By now, the ship was glowing from the

  heat. The cats were hopping around on the

  deck as if they were standing on the grill at

  Slinkrat’s Sizzling Steak House!

  After a while, the cats gave up the crazy

  dance moves and began to jump overboard.

  “Stop, you SCOUNDRELS! Only I say

  when it is time to jump!” meowed a

  furious Black Bandit. But for once,

  no one was listening.

  We waited for all of the pirates to get into

  the water. Then Trap and I ran to the sails,

  and Thea took the helm. Benjamin quickly

  closed the doors to the cabins that were on

  fire. He put some wet towels at the bottom

  of each door. Without any air, the flames

  slowly began to go out.

  a red-hoT Claw

  When the pirates realized what had

  happened, they tried to climb back on

  board. But not one cat got a paw

  on deck. We had already raised the

  sails and were speeding away.

  “WE’RE OFF TO NEW

  MOUSE CITY!!!

  ” cried Trap, grinning

  from whisker to whisker.

  I caught sight of the Black Bandit

  glaring back at us. The wind carried some of

  his words. “SOMEDAY we’ll meet

  again, little micey!” he shrieked. “And when

  we do, you’re going to wish you had never

  learned how to squeak!”

  Then he cut the air with his sword, as if

  he were chopping us up.

  Prowls was doing the kitty paddle, trying

  to keep up with his brother. We also spotted

  Slobbertooth, the chef; Claws, our friendly

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  jailer; Patches, the violin player; and many

  more.

  Thea leaned out of the boat to scan the

  horizon. Ho-hum Island was very close.

  Before long, the pirate cats gave up trying to

  follow us and began swimming toward it.

 
WE HEARD THEM SINGING

  AS THEY SWAM

  . “Catchy,” said

  my sister, tapping her paw to the beat.

  Then she grabbed a pencil and began

  jotting down the words to the

  song.

  “If you see a big ship on the water,

  Beware, the pirate cats are near!

  If you see our tough fur and tails waving,

  Beware, the pirate cats are here!

  We are many, we are mean,

  Always ready for the unforeseen,

  Forever looking for great treasure,

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  Forget fighting, you just won’t measure!

  Meoooww. . .We’re the mightiest cats

  around,

  So give us your gold, and don’t make a

  sound!”

  Of course, we had to sing our own battle

  song in reply.

  “A thousand tails raised in the air,

  A thousand voices squeak with care,

  Rodents cheer and heave a sigh,

  Sweet Mouse Island

  will never die!”

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  Cat-roast surprise

  The days went by. Each

  morning, I searched the sea

  for our precious Mouse Island.

  But so far, there was not an

  island or a mouse in sight. I

  was getting as homesick as a

  truckrat on a cross-country

  delivery. Boy, do I HATE traveling!

  We had checked out the ship from top to

  bottom. Luckily, the supplies on board

  would last for at least a few years. We each

  chose a cabin to sleep in. I was sleeping in

  the Black BANDIT’S room. Benjamin

  insisted on staying with me. He wanted to

  have a sleepover party every night. “We can

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  BANDIT’S

  BANDIT’S

  have pillow fights and sing songs and

  tell stories all night long! OK,

  Uncle?” he squeaked.

  I was tired already. But I didn’t

  have the heart to say no.

  The room

  was filled with some very

  strange things. I discovered

  a big black tarantula in a

  golden cage. It was the

  pet. There

  was even a leash for her

  daily walk! In a small

  silver bowl was her

  favorite food: ant soup, fried

  flies, and mashed gnats. I bet Chef

  Slobbertooth had fun cooking that!

  Besides the tarantula, I also found dozens

  of flowery homemade pillows. It seemed the

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  Black Bandit had a secret hobby:

  needlepoint! I smiled to myself. Now that

  the Bandit was stuck on Ho-hum Island,

  he’d have lots of time on his paws. Maybe

  he could needlepoint a pillow for each of

  the cats. He could hand them out as

  Christmas gifts.

  I climbed into

  bed, avoiding the rug. It

  was made of soft gray fur. It might have

  been mouse fur. I tried not to think about it,

  but it was hard. I could

  almost hear that poor rug

  squeak! On a bedside table

  sat a cup with a picture of a

  cat on it. I think it was Sir

  Catfish the Third, the first cat to sail around

  the world. I wonder if he’d had a mouse

  rug, too.

  Thea had settled in Prowls’s cabin. It was

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  filled with toys. There was a mouse

  marionette, a spinning top, lots of

  windup mice, and a furry cat-in-

  the-box that meowed when it

  popped open. On the shelf over

  the bed sat an old mechanical toy.

  It was a cat pulling a mouse’s tail.

  The mouse looked like he’d been

  running the New

  Mouse City Marathon

  for weeks! I wanted to throw that

  one overboard.

  Trap had chosen the cabin belonging to

  Chef Slobbertooth. The cabin was

  covered with grease stains.

  All kinds of cookbooks

  lined the shelves. I

  read a few of

  the titles.

  Cat-roast Surprise: Roasted snails with

  potatoes

  Crispy Cat’s Cradle: Fried snails in a

  pastry shell

  Hearty Cat Chowder: Snail soup

  with cream and vegetables

  The Happy Cat Hoagie:

  Raw snail on a roll with

  oil and vinegar

  Cats in the KitChen: 50 WhisKer-

  LiCKin’ MeaLs in Minutes, the

  HUNGRY CAT COOKS, and How to

  THROW the PurrfeCt Dinner Party.

  Trap sprawled out on Slobbertooth’s

  leather love seat. “Hey, listen to this,” he

  said, reading recipes from a note titled

  Snails for Tails.

  Thank you, BlaCk

  BandiT!

  I was at the helm when

  Benjamin came looking for me,

  waving a broom and a dust rag.

  “

  UNCLE Geronimo, come

  and see what I found!” he called,

  tugging at my jacket.

  He was dancing around like a

  kernel of popcorn before it pops! “Please,

  UNCLE! Right away to the cabin!” he

  squeaked.

  “Cabin? What cabin?” I asked, confused.

  For a minute, I started thinking about an

  old log cabin we used to go to in the

  summers. It was right on beautiful Lake

  Lakelakelake.

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  BANDIT’S

  BANDIT’S

  “UNCLE GERONIMO,” insisted

  Benjamin, interrupting my thoughts.

  “Guess what I found under the Black

  Bandit's bed!”

  “Another tarantula?” I asked nervously.

  “No!” squeaked my nephew. “A secret

  hiding place!”

  Benjamin was right.

  Under the

  bed was a trapdoor. It

  was chained shut with a

  huge silver lock.

  “Hurry, let’s open

  it!

  ” said Trap. His eyes were

  as big as two saucers of milk.

  “Let’s not get too excited,” I warned.

  “We don’t want to be disappointed. It could

  just be the BANDIT'S dirty underwear!”

  Half an hour later, we finally broke the

  91

  lock. And I was wrong.

  There was no underwear in

  this hiding place.

  “Treasure!”

  cried Trap, diving into a

  mountain of gold and silver coins. Precious

  stones and glittering jewels spilled onto the

  floor. It was an amazing sight!

  Trap put a crown on his head and took a

  bow. “How do I look? Like the King of the

  Pi-rats?” he squeaked, grinning.

  “Wow! Take a look at these rubies.

  They are as big as eggs!” called

  Benjamin. He held up two

  enormous gemstones.

  Meanwhile, Thea had

  opened a small painted box.

  “Pink pearls!” she cried,

  holding up a necklace. “How

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  beautiful!” She fastened the strand around

  her neck. Then she stared at herself in a

  mirror. “They are so me!” she announced,

  beaming at her reflection.


  Also in the box was

  a bracelet, a ring, a

  pair of earrings, and a

  dazzling gold crown. I

  stared at the jewels.

  They looked so familiar.

  Suddenly, I slapped my

  forehead with my paw.

  “That’s it!” I yelled. “I know

  where I have seen these jewels.

  Queen Natasha Noblesnout is

  wearing them in that famouse painting!”

  I picked up a gold coin. It belonged to

  the Kingdom of Cats. Carved on one side

  was the pirates’ motto: What’s Yours

  93

  “

  H

  o

  w

  b

  e

  a

  u

  t

  i

  f

  u

  l

  !

  ”

  Is Mine, What’s Mine Is Mine!

  (Someone really needed to teach these cats

  a lesson in sharing.)

  Then I spotted a silver coin. My eyes

  opened wide. My fur stood on end. My heart

  beat so fast I felt like I had just swum ten

  laps in the pool at WaterRat Park.

  94

  Queen

  Noblesnout

  This was not just any old silver coin. I

  cleaned my glasses so I could see it better.

  “Moldy mozzarella!” I cried. “This is

  the legendary silver quarter! It was

  the first coin ever minted on Mouse Island!”

  I held the coin out so the others could see.

  The quarter was dated 1458. Mouse Island’s

  motto was carved on the back:

  Rodents Be Smart, Follow Your Heart!

  95

  sTern wind!

  “Rodents be smart, follow

  your heart!” we chanted as we took

  turns at the helm. A stern wind pushed us

  home.

  Yes, if this wind kept up we’d be sailing

  into Mouse Island in two shakes of a rat’s

  tail. I was so happy! I couldn’t wait to sink

  my teeth into a juicy cheddar

  cheeseburger or maybe a gooey

  pizza pie from The Sliced Rat.

  Oh, sweet Mouse Island, I

  missed you so!

  I reached for the wheel. What

  a great ship! A real battleship. I

  wondered how many fights it had

  96